Back to work & The virtues of failure

I can't say I'm thrilled to be back at work- I was enjoying having a super restful holiday- but It's been a reasonably uncomplicated first day back.
We had whole staff training all day on some new software that we're being encouraged to use and some new strategies for improving self assessment and reflective work.
It was interesting.

They started the day talking about failure, and how fear of failure on any level holds us back from attaining our greatest potential.
This lead to ways to build resilience and an open mind set to help us to attain our goals and persevere with new challenges.

"All people want to love, to be loved and to be useful" ~ Duckford

It was quite an inspirational day really, but I felt a bit like I'd been overloaded with information. There was so much I wanted to do with all the things we discussed- but before I'd even gotten my head round how I'd implement or use any of it we were off on something else.
Hopefully I've retained some of the message from today. I have a massive headache and I feel a bit like the only thing I've really remembered was what I ate for lunch.
Maybe this is just part of my mental processing.

We watched a few motivational videos- I think that this was my favourite. "Rock bottom makes a firm foundation to build on".

Hopefully I will never experience this level of failure.
We do though, need to consider failure as the process of learning something new- a journey to improvement, as opposed to the end of the road. I know I am guilty of giving up too easily or being very hard on myself when I do not get things right. I'm a human being. I am allowed to make mistakes. I will try and be more positive in my outlook, try and see more things as opportunities rather than disasters.
After all, I'm pretty far from rock bottom, and I hope never to end up there.

On a less philosophical note, I had presents in my pigeon hole today! Presents from my secret angel.
:D

I had cupcakes for after dinner (no, not all 9)! And I'll wear my new socks tomorrow.

The Saga of the new laundry basket

After spending yesterday in the house turning out cupboards, I decided that the order of the day was probably some fresh air and maybe a walk.
I spent a bit of my morning trying to convince Traff to join me for a walk into town- maybe even down to the embankment to see the ducks- He stubbornly refused to join me and started hoovering to make it clear that his mind would not be changed.

I got into town, took advantage of the Debenhams sale, and then realised I had some missed calls from the wifely one- I rang him back and he said he had decided that he needed some bits from wilkinsons.
By the time I caught up with him he had a massive purple laundry basket under one arm and some photo frames for his Norwich memorabilia under the other.
I got some frames- To make a start on my new years resolution to actually frame and look after important photos etc rather than trash them by blu-tacking them up and then regretting it.

After buying our goods we headed back out onto the high street- it was freezing and foggy and our huge shopping made our progress slow- I asked Traff if he fancied a pint, more to get out of the cold for a bit than anything else.
He always fancies a pint.
This was how we ended up going on an impromptu pub crawl along the high street with a laundry basket.

We started in the pub about 1:30pm and we finally left the pub nearest the end of the high street at 5:30pm- after which we headed to the kebab shop for a greasy pizza and chips.
We then took a taxi home.
We're referring to this incident as "Saturday night lite".

After dinner I framed up my photos before I lost enthusiasm for it, although I'll be honest after pudding in the pub and half a massive pizza all I really wanted to do was have a nap.

New year. Clean house.

In keeping with tradition, I have been sorting and cleaning (it's not technically spring, but I don't have any time off now until february, and it might not be freezing cold and piddling down with rain by then- better to get all this life changing stuff done with in january so that I can go back to being lazy but have better systems of organisation by February)

I hadn't intended for today to be quite so productive. Traff rang at 8am to tell me that it wasn't an emergency (The ONLY reason to call anyone before 9am is for an emergency) but that the next person hadn't come into work and wasn't answering their phone, so he was going to be working 14 hours instead of 10.
To be perfectly honest if he hadn't rung I'd probably have slept through until he got home at midday.

I got up because I was awake, Did some flat stomach intervention (2 days in a row- I'f I'm not a size 4 by next week I'll be really upset), cleaned the kitchen and tidied up a bit.
Then changed the bed.
Whilst looking for matching pillow cases, duvet sheet etc I remembered a hack on buzzfeed- Fold the sheet, duvet cover and 3 pillow cases together, and put them inside the remaining pillow case- so when you change the bed it's all easy to find.
As I'd turned the drawer upside down anyway looking for a pillow case I figured now was a good time to implement this hack.

And I found a pesky single sheet which catches us both out periodically- So That is a proper win. It can  now be removed from the draw of linen.
I had achieved what the book "Never hit a jellyfish with a spade" describes as "the quintessential  potter" - where you start with one task and each task leads you to another, productive task and the process is laid back and enjoyable because you don't really have to think about it.

Then I went to put the single sheet in the charity bag and found a load of massive spiders so I had to go and hide in another room.

I did manage to clear off the desk in the bedroom, the book case, under the dresser in the front room, the dresser drawers and the basket in the kitchen.
The places where clutter collects.
I managed to fill one new bag for charity and 4 bags of recycling- Turns out we're really bad for hoarding bits of paper and pens that don't work.

When you next visit, be sure to compliment me on my tidy and de-cluttered home.

My song for the day:

Make my Stomach flat!

Today is the start of "operation make my stomach flat" where mostly I whinge that my stomach isn't flat whilst eating Waitrose Essential chocolate covered digestives, and then eventually do something that is supposed to help.
Then end up with indigestion.

Traff did try and teach me to do push ups yesterday but I just can't seem to do it. I'm much better at eating biscuits.
Maybe I'll get him to show me again if he promises not to laugh quite so much this time.

Weird meals & fish eye photos

After yesterday's lack of any kind of activity- I honestly spent the whole day watching TV, mooching on facebook and texting people- Today needed to have some kind of productivity. For my sanity.

Easy starter- We actually went food shopping. Since christmas we've been on "weird meals"- This is usually what happens at the end of the month when no-one's been paid yet and you end up eating dubious food combinations because that's what there is in the freezer.
We've been on the weird meals because we had loads of food left over from christmas- so no space to put the shopping- but also nothing that really went together. My personal highlight was eating hula hoops and stilton because we were out of crackers. I'm proud of that combination. On new years eve we had roasted vegetable wraps- which sounds awesome expect the main component of the roasted vegetables was potatoes!
Ah well, I'm not against double carbing and some of the combinations have been delicious.
However, I will be grateful to eat normally again now... well, for the next 2 weeks at least..

We went to the massive tesco because we needed to get some food for no-legs. Buying fish food was the whole reason we went shopping- whilst we are happy to eat left over rice wrapped in omelette or curly fries for breakfast, He's not so easily fobbed off with frosties.

I also got boot polish. I've been meaning to sort out my boots for ages. I was shamed last month when I got them resoled and was all pleased with myself for making them last longer, the guy in the cobblers was like "You know, You could try polishing them and they'd last an awful lot longer". I hadn't noticed how scuffed they'd gotten- I supposed I wear them every day and they get scruffy gradually.
So, polish done, I thought now would be a good time to proof them- Ignoring all the warnings about ventilation and death- I always proof my boots in the bathroom because we live in a flat.
This is a 3 monthly ritual now- I spray proofer liberally on my boots, it gets everywhere and all over the floor, I shout to Traff to "be careful because the bathroom floor is super slippery" then I go back into the bathroom 5 minutes later, forgetting the floor is now an ice rink and go arse over tit.
My pride may be damaged, but my boots and the lino in the bathroom are delightfully shiny and water repellant.
All ready for work on Monday.
I have also packed my bag with my lunch/snacks for the 1st week back. And sorted out my work clothes box so that I can easily dress myself on Monday. At 6am. In the dark. bllerrggh.

Traff's back at work today and on nights so he went for a nap in the afternoon. I took the hint and went out for a walk so that he could get some uninterrupted shut eye.
I took my camera and had another go at fish eye photography. I think when I take photos with normal or wide angle lenses I can usually get something I'm happy with (I mean, when I go out with the express intention to take a certain photo or set of photos, not so much just a quick snap to show something on FB or on here)- I'm ok at composition and light and ISO values and shutter speeds, I get them (admittedly not always first time). I cannot seem to get my head around the fish eye lens.
I also handicapped myself further by leaving my glasses by the fish tank.
Some of my photos have come out pretty well considering- I can't take any credit for them, It's sheer luck (Especially as I couldn't really see what I was photographing very well).

So, here, for your enjoyment and perusal are my fish eye roulette photos:
(I did better than last time, when I just followed Traff about taking photos which made his bum look massive- So I'm improving!)

After my mooch around outside I came home and put dinner on. Traff went to the shop before I was up this morning and got potatoes so that we can have jacket spuds for tea- I swear one of them is the same size as my head so it may need a few days to cook properly. When he said they'd need more than 2 hours I thought he was winding me up.
Whilst I'm pretending to be a responsible adult and make dinner, I plan to read a bit more of my book Abi bought me for xmas.
Fanny and Stella by Neil McKenna

It's pretty good- A much easier read than I was expecting and far more light hearted. I will be attempting to get the phrase "The bum slap polka" into normal conversations.
It wouldn't usually have been my choice of book- Abi and I both had a bit of a victorian obsession. If it was a Venn diagram- her circle is sex as taboo, childbirth and women's issues. My circle would be attitudes to death, fashions and eccentricity - with the middle bit being attitudes to Women and Womens' history. Normally my remit does not include drag queens.
I may have to start to make an exception.

Anyway, Here is my soundtrack to cooking potatoes and reading about sodomites:

2014 survey

1. What did you do in 2014 that you had never done before?

I visited Malaysia,  learned to crochet, Tried my hand at Glass fusion and sewing from some pretty tricky patterns.

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I have made 12 resolutions for 2015- that is one new thing to try and do/ to work on every month of the year. 

1) Try to eat vegetarian at home- I do struggle with my will power when eating out- but at home it wouldn't kill me to up my veggie intake.

2) Learn some Malay- I don't expect to be fluent by next year but I'd like to be able to greet people or order something!

3) Keep going with the healthy diet and lifestyle stuff (Keeping number 1 will greatly help with number 3!).

4) Keep in touch better with old friends- I never moved back to my hometown after university, and I went to College instead of 6th form as I couldn't take any more of the Girls' School- So I've definitely drifted.

This year will mark 10 years of finishing Secondary school. So I guess it's now or never...

The only one I failed at number 2- but I did put the CD on the computer so sometimes when I'm listening to Itunes I get random learning malay tracks...

3. How will you be spending your new years eve?

We went out for dinner- then came home and played retro sega games until the midnight fireworks were on the TV! in fairness, we had thought Traff was at work on new wears day so hadn't planned anything- we only found out on the 30th that he was off.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully no.

5. What countries did you visit?

Malaysia and Germany- and Wales, of course.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

More travel! And more weekends with my friends- I've managed to get to Wales once a month for the whole year- which is pretty good- now I just need a system for Oxfordshire too! going up to Wales means I get to pop i and see my parents on the sunday on my way back too- so that's been really good to see them a bit more.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
I've done so much cool stuff this year I can't name one specific date- this has been a good year- probably our best year in Bedfordshire- and the best for seeing people since we've moved- we're getting there!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking up kick boxing, Getting a promotion at work- all good stuff! I'm proud of myself for my commitment to work, but also for managing a teeny bit of work life balance- Something for me to continue to work on in 2015.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I'm not sure I had any "failures"- not anything that was such a complete disaster I couldn't learn from it- probably the number of nights I've left work at 7pm or later this year! but it paid off, so I can't complain too much.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

yes, but I've been on the mend for a while now- long may it continue!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Guitar hero! soooo many hours of joy and pleasure. and shouting. lots of shouting.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Our Malaysian holiday- but it was money very well spent as we had an awesome time, and got to see Randi and Stu too.

13. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Warpaint- Baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AedHv7geXcU

14. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Chilling out at home. I get to carried away with "making the most" of my time that sometimes I forget that just having a quite weekend at home with no plans and a lie in is pretty therapeutic.

15. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Less paperwork and late nights for work!

16. What was you favourite TV programme?

Sons of Anarchy- we neet to get on with watching it! we're on season 3 so no-one is to ruin it for me- I really want to see the new season with Courtney love and Marilyn Manson in.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, I don’t hate anyone, it's a massive waste of energy.

18. What was the best book you read?

Longbourn! it's the story of pride and prejudice told from the servants point of view- Pandering to my complete love of pride and prejudice. :D

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AedHv7geXcU
Courtesy of Tristrum.

20. What was your favorite film of this year?

Transformers! Optimus prime! 

21. What did you do on your birthday?

Drank too much wine and went paddle boarding. A really nice chilled out few days with mates and with Traff was just was I needed after a crazy few weeks at work. 

22. What kept you sane?

Tea. Traff. Tristypants, Hayley, Jay, Kirstie, Sah, Good music. Paddle boarding (Floating about on a lake is very de-stesssing), Kick boxing...

..and Cake when all else failed. 

23. Who did you miss?

I miss all my friends who live far away :( Realistically, we probably spend more "quality time" together because of the distance- but it would be nice to be there for my friends a bit more in person, and it'd be nice to be able to have a cup of tea and unwind rather than spending whole evenings glued to my phone or FB messenger.

24. Who was the best new person that you met?

Jenni, who is my new work colleague. 

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2014?

Don't leave your debit card in the petrol pump?

I have no idea what the year 2015 will bring but I hope that with a positive attitude and determination it will be a great year. I am excited for the future!

My 2015 new years resoluations

These are taken from the list I posted from buzzfeed on 30th December- I just cut it down to 12 I really need to make sure I do!

I'll try and review my list and mark the ones I've met- so it'll be a good challenge for me.

1.   Stop dieting: Just eat more fruit and veg and drink a ton of water.

2.   Learn to reshuffle your schedule so you have more time for creative projects, and make sure you finish those projects.

3.   Pick a European city to visit this year.

4.   Give more compliments.

5.   Meet up with friends more often- Try not to go more than 6 months without seeing someone you care about.

6.   Clear out all the clutter in your home

7.   Try a food you’ve never eaten before.

8.   Frame treasured photos, letters and keepsakes.

9.   Treat your parents to dinner.

10.       Walk to places more often.

11.       Learn to use Excel properly.

12.       Invest in matching underwear.

"Rememberloutions" instead of resolutions? hmm.. might give this a try!

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

Tired of making New Year’s resolutions you never keep? Do something different this year and make “rememberlutions!”

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

New Year’s resolutions can be energizing and motivating, but they can also lead you to beat yourself up; focusing on the previous year’s failures to figure out where to do better next year is no way to live. And when you don’t keep your resolutions (yet again), you can feel completely defeated.

So instead of focusing on shortcomings, prepare to celebrate each awesome thing that happens next year.

Make a jar now that you can fill with memories and accomplishments over the course of the next 12 months.

You can review and remember when the ball drops at the end of 2015!

In order to make one of your own, all you need is a garden-variety jar…

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

Any size, any shape. Whether you’d like a lid or not is totally up to you.

And a plethora of craft supplies.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

We used googly eyes, yarn, stickers, paint pens, and copious amounts of glitter. We found that a glue gun was the best way to make all of the trinkets stick to glass, but glass/metal glue worked as well (it’s about $7 at any craft store).

Then go to town. Several folks chose to festoon their jars with inspirational quotes and reminders.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

When your jar is decorated to your heart’s content, it’s time for the rememberlutions themselves.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

Over the course of the year, whenever anything happens that makes you proud, write it down and put it in the jar.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

It doesn’t matter how big or small it is.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

Nor how personal.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

All that matters is it’s yours.

Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed

And when you empty it at the end of 2015, you will remember all the rad things you’ve accomplished.